my thumb never tasted so good...

my eyes have never been so red they looked like the brightest/deepest red you've ever seen..i mean i know it matters to you but you have no clue, and you know that i can't tell you i feel so dead, i feel like you're dead and i had yo walk past your coffin. you know how that was and how i felt just imagine that not stopping b/c thats how i feel right now. all i wanted was to see you before i left for dallas, and you come to me telling me you're gonna have a new girl in your life and if thats ok with me. why should it matter if its ok with me? we arnt together...yes i want you to be happy, i just don't want to see you or hear of you being happy. is that wrong of me? i dont care if it is, you asked and well, theres my answer and i am pretty sure you'd feel the same way..i wish it were raining and lightening and thunder, and i never put my heart in my hands b/c i didnt want to be hurt, i really thought i could save my self from that no, my heart isnt in my hands, the winds from my imaginary stor have taken it off to drown the flooded river i've made of tears for me to fall into like i'm flying weightlessly and unafraid for once and just sinking all alone through the clouds you used to put me on when i looked into your eyes. i hate you and i hate me..and like you thought i used to not care, or your feelings phase me, well they did but i feel that way now and i'm in all kinds of knots, not knowing how to get out.....i will always love you